ACROSS THE EARTH

I was in the phillippines with parts of my family last year, late September and starting in on October, effectivly spending my birthday among palmtrees and lizards. Quite memorable! I haven't gotten around to editing some photos until now, so here's part one:

One of the paths leading up to our room. The resort, Coco Beach, wants to be a part of the forest/djugle, as much as possible and it is evident all through the the resortgrounds. Everything looks like this, full of nature!

Since my dad's pretty smart somtimes, he made sure to get us rooms with AC, wich meant cheap "suites". The room was rather cute though!

We even had our own little "yard"!

 Here's yours truely just sitting around for a bit, watching the water.

My birthdaycake - lovely in all its kitchyness, and unfortuntely it tasted horrible! But my birthday will get a ost of its own later.

One of two amazing poolareas  - the beach was not ideal for bathing so we speant a lot of time at the poolside, which is fine by me. I'm not terribly fond of bathing in the ocean since I got burned by a jellyfish once.

Quick little lizards zapped around everywhere!

On our first day at the resort I was mesmerized by these tiny crabs who were supercute and were fast a slightning! Tried catching one but sheepishly gave up rather quickly.

NOT QUITE WHITE

One of our horses, Elwan, is pure white. I've never had a white horse before and it's absolute horror to keep her clean! In our climate it's just about impossible. Winter in south Sweden is humid and above freezing, wet, misty, grey, rainy, windy. Often all at the same time! This pretty little thing is marching around in pastures that in summertime are lush with emerald grass, but in winter turns into pools of mud! I always pray for subzero temeperatures, the horses are so much easier to keep clean! When I took of her rug, she looked ridiculous underneath! White on the body, and brown on everything else!

HOW OR WHO

Considering this fresh new year I have ahead of me, I'm trying to figure out how to change something deeply rooted in my personality. So deeply rooted in fact, I doubt it is possible for me to change my ways at all. When I was training to get that fancy diploma I have in my "office" at work, the one that says I attended the company academy for Visual Merchandisers, I had to do a proffesional personality test, and exercises based on what type of personality I turned out to be. It was really fascinating to find myself beeing picked apart, and those parts actually made sense to me. It's been a good tool for me when trying to understand myself and my actions. It is also a pretty strong suggestion that I will never change. This is how I am, but it is not who I am. I never considered the difference before, but seeing it now, I can feel the truth of it.
Food for thought.

DARE TO HOPE

ALL GOOD THINGS

...must come to an end, or so the saying goes. For me though, this has not been a very good year, and it started going downhill this summer. If I try and look back at the year that has passed, the things that are crystalized in my mind are the most painful ones. A friend in deepest possible misery, the grief that came with loosing my amazing mare, and how after that, every damn thing that seemed hopeful turned to shit.
Even though hardships have stained my life dark, I pride myself in still being able to laugh and love and care. So I vow to keep those traits alive for an another year, and I hope that this new years eve will be the end of this sad year, and the beginning of something new, bright, hopeful, creative.
Yes, I have hope.

RAIN

A few days ago I asked my husband; "Is it autumn now?" He sort of glanced out with a frown and denied profusely. He loves summer and doesn't want it to end. But when I looked out through the window and saw the pretty little tree that is centered so perfectly in view, there was no denying it. Late summer, early fall, call it what you will, the gilded leaves don't lie. The green is mingling with burnished tones of yellow and brown, and the delicate foliage is sadly dropping form the branches at every whisp of wind that rustles through.
Today has been grey since I got out of bed, and it's raining. Real rain. Big fat drops that almost rage down from the sky in bursts. Then it eases into a gentle patter, only to start lashing down again. And it thunders. It's been thundering for hours. I love it. I've burrowed myself down deep into our couch with my laptop on my chest, watching Fringe episodes, still feeing sad after the horrible summer I've had. I don't like feeling sorry for myself, but it's not that, it's just... Grief and wearyness. Loosing myself in the mysterious tales of Fringe let's me rest from the memories of it all.
Trying to get a handle on it all. I've put animals down before, but this, this is different. She was more than a pet, she was... She was amazing. Little else can describe her, and our story together.
Now autumn is coming, and it's without her. My first autumn without her for more than 14 years.

MEMORIES

Just saw a moving video on Swedish horseblog Darios, it made me miss Ida more than ever. So sad right now.

IF I WERE

...anything out of the ordinary, I'd be special right? Often times I'll sort of step aside and let my cautius humility and my brazen ego battle it out. Am I special? Of course, the proud and self absorbed version of myself will state ! Oh hush, you're just one shard in the great caleidoscope of the universe, don't make a fuzz, the shy and modest part of me mumbles.

I mostly decide on me beeing rather unique, and don't feel to bad about it, as I also think everyone has something that sets them apart and makes them into what they are; that myriad of experiences, choices, consequences and talents that creates a whole creature that lives and breathes time. Isn't that something.

This blog is starting as a whim, which so often is the case wih me and my projects. I did a rather encompassing personality test some years ago when I just started my job, you know, the ones where you answer what seems like a million questions swiftly, and you end up with a four letter combination that is supposed to be you, in general terms. It was actually spot on for the most part . I'm right in the middle of beeing extrovert and introvert, I'm creative with lot's of ideas, but I'm horrible at follow-through and I bore easily. I've started countless blogs with lot's of enthusiasm, but they pretty much always fizzle out in the end. The most succesful one to date, and by that I mean how long I tended to it, was one where I gave myself the freedom to not put any kind fo preassure on myself. I'm trying that again, here, in English this time around. Let's see how it goes.