NOT QUITE WHITE

One of our horses, Elwan, is pure white. I've never had a white horse before and it's absolute horror to keep her clean! In our climate it's just about impossible. Winter in south Sweden is humid and above freezing, wet, misty, grey, rainy, windy. Often all at the same time! This pretty little thing is marching around in pastures that in summertime are lush with emerald grass, but in winter turns into pools of mud! I always pray for subzero temeperatures, the horses are so much easier to keep clean! When I took of her rug, she looked ridiculous underneath! White on the body, and brown on everything else!

JUMP

If I have to watch sports on TV, equestrian is what I'll choose. Right now I'm watching the final of a world cup competition with two swedes comepeting! Nervous enough to bite my nails!

Swedish showjumping king Rolf Göran Bengtsson at Grand Palais, Paris.

RAIN

A few days ago I asked my husband; "Is it autumn now?" He sort of glanced out with a frown and denied profusely. He loves summer and doesn't want it to end. But when I looked out through the window and saw the pretty little tree that is centered so perfectly in view, there was no denying it. Late summer, early fall, call it what you will, the gilded leaves don't lie. The green is mingling with burnished tones of yellow and brown, and the delicate foliage is sadly dropping form the branches at every whisp of wind that rustles through.
Today has been grey since I got out of bed, and it's raining. Real rain. Big fat drops that almost rage down from the sky in bursts. Then it eases into a gentle patter, only to start lashing down again. And it thunders. It's been thundering for hours. I love it. I've burrowed myself down deep into our couch with my laptop on my chest, watching Fringe episodes, still feeing sad after the horrible summer I've had. I don't like feeling sorry for myself, but it's not that, it's just... Grief and wearyness. Loosing myself in the mysterious tales of Fringe let's me rest from the memories of it all.
Trying to get a handle on it all. I've put animals down before, but this, this is different. She was more than a pet, she was... She was amazing. Little else can describe her, and our story together.
Now autumn is coming, and it's without her. My first autumn without her for more than 14 years.

PETS

I'm halfway through my vacation, and I'm in a sort of apathetic state. Can't muster up the energy to do anything but laying on the couch with my laptop on my stomach, rewatching episodes of Burn Notice and blogbrowsing. Of course you need to wind down, let go of all the "musts" and "have toos", but I feel it's time to get a grip on things.I'm sure no one blames me, things got off to such a horrible start after all. The very day my vacation started, my horse died. Life just bitchslapped me right in the face.
I want to ride. So bad. The weather is perfect for it too. Maybe I'll go out tomorrow, try Elwan out and see how she moves. I haven't been on horseback for ages. Thinking about buying a new horse fills me with mixed feelings. I just don't see how I could feel close to another animal right now. I know it's just a matter of time, of course, but still.

 I had a cat, Edwin, when I was still living at home with my parents. He was just the cutest thing. He'd keep me company when I was out in the stables mucking. He'd sit on the boxstalls' edge, and when he wanted attention he'd start meowing loudly until I came up to him and nuzzled him for a bit. When it was time to go back to the house he'd more often than not demand to be carried. He would twirl around my legs until I stopped, then stand in his hind legs and sort of reach up to me. No resisting that, so of course I scooped him right up and carried him all the 20 meters back to the house!
I was so sad when he had to be put down due to liverfailure, completely heartbroken.

When I finally moved away from home though, Ralf and I were both intent on having a cat. My sister had a friend who's cat had two kittens, and promised one of them to us. We ended up with both of them though, much to Ralfs surprise when I came home with double amount of cat. Never regretted it though. I love both of them a smuch as I loved me Edwin, and one day I'll love anther horse as well as I did Ida.

Dimma & Kir

MEMORIES

Just saw a moving video on Swedish horseblog Darios, it made me miss Ida more than ever. So sad right now.

EQUESTRIAN

Swedish equestrian retailer Hööks has some nice autumn things in their autumn collection. These were some items I'd planned on getting for me and Ida... Maybe I should buy them anyway. I will have another horse after all, infact I already kind of have one in Elwan. I've decided to start looking for a new friend in October when I get home from our trip to the Philippines.

MARES

The bay mare was so distraught when we put my Ida down. She cried and cried for her, and we didn't dare letting her loose in pasture, I'm confident she'd have run through fences and all looking for her dead sister. My father went through all his contacts and luckily, someone knew someone who was putting her horse down for arthritis in the hocks. The horse, a grey 17 year old named Elwan, was perfectly fine other than that, she get's stiff in the joints but can go for easy rides a few days a week. Unfortunetly her owner wanted a healthy horse with full capacity and had sadly decided to let her go. She was more than willing to lend us her mare until we found some kind of solution of our own. As it were, we all were qickly fond of Elwan, (we call her Elvis) and she has taken a strong liking to Lina. So we have decided that she's going to spend the rest of her days with us as a "Promenadhäst", a promenade horse. She'll be great to teach my husband to ride on, and she's company for any other horses we might get in the future. Looking at her makes me miss Ida, but I also feel good for Elwans sake, she would be up for termination on Monday if it weren't for my family. So while one life was lost, another was spared. It's almost poetic.